Porta Gloryhole Review

PortaGloryhole! Is there anything as magical as a porta-potty on a hot day? It’s always a festival favorite to get inside a tight little box with an overwhelming odor of urine and feces, not to mention the weird, greased-up creeper lurking eyes-deep in the shit pit. What could make it better? Well, at PortaGloryhole, they swap out the low-quality toilet for a high-quality whore who wants to suck your dick through a mysterious hole in the wall. And you thought the lines were long enough when it was just drunk people waiting to take a dump…

PortaGloryhole.com has been showing off its unique twist on the gloryhole genre since 2015. The gimmick is pretty simple: their gloryhole is in a public place. The dude who started the site used to work in the construction industry, which clearly gave him some great ideas. His original thought was to put the gloryhole in a trailer, but then realized nobody would think twice about a porta-john on the side of the road. He’s right, because the only people who pop into a random one probably have diarrhea. The visitors to the site, however, have a completely different fluid itching to spray violently from their pipes. (I’m talking about cum, dummy!)

Maybe they spent all the design money getting their PortaGloryhole ready, because the layout looks a little hit. I would have guessed from the look that the site’s even older than 2015. I think they’re recycling the same basic format as a couple of their sister sites, GloryholeSwallow and GloryholeSecrets, which are a few years older. It’s pretty standard practice within the industry, so I’m not going to fault them for trying to save a few bucks. No, what I’m really here to judge is the pornography, not their logos and stylesheets.

The Play buttons on the tour page all lead back to the PortaGloryhole.com signup page, but the moving thumbnails give a decent sense of what you’re going to see inside. In short, it’s a bunch of horny, sexy amateurs giving anonymous blowjobs at a gloryhole. I don’t see any famous pornstar faces, but I see a lot of pretty girls showing off wads of cum in their pretty mouths. They’ve got a range of bitches, too, from ripe young 18+ teens to experienced MILFs. White girls, black girls, Asians and Latinas are always stopping by for a taste of sperm, not to mention some really gorgeous exotic chicks of mysterious ethnic origin.

To be honest, they had me from the concept, but I held out a bit before making my way to the signup page. A monthly membership at PortaGloryhole.com will run you 30 bucks, just like it will on most porno sites. They’ve got 2- and 6-month subscriptions available as well, with a significant price break on the longer one. They take credit cards and gift cards, but the check-writing grandpas will have to get their anonymous blowjobs elsewhere.

An icon on the sign-up page says they’ve got regular updates, which is vague as hell. Their other sites update multiple times a week, so I was hoping for more of the same. Well, they did update a couple of times a week for a very long time. The trouble is, the site went stale toward the end of 2018. They went from adding two scenes a week to adding nothing at all. The dates are hidden from the Latest Updates out front, but once you get in, the unfortunate reality becomes clear.

At least they got a few good years in before going silent. There are over 200 exclusive Porta Gloryhole movies in the collection. The on-her-way segments typically run under ten minutes, but the runtimes of the actual gloryhole videos usually clock in at around 30-60 minutes. Even though they ain’t currently stocking the shelves, you’ll still have plenty of fap fodder to shake your dick at while you’re waiting on a COVID vaccine.

I’m not always a fan of the interview segments they tack onto the start of a lot of porn movies, but the format is really sexy when they’re interviewing randos who may well be doing their very first porn shoot. Rose seems like a normal hot chick, candid and casual as she tells us a little about herself. She’s wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, so she didn’t get all gussied up for the ride. Who needs a short skirt when you’ve got a pretty face, lovely face and adorable giggle?

I think the lack of skin showing at the beginning makes it all the more sexy when she starts disrobing in the back of the moving van. She keeps up the conversation while she’s casually taking it off, too. The POV angle gets even better when she’s down to her panties and gets on her knees for her first blowjob at PortaGloryhole.

It may be Rose’s first time on the site, but it’s clearly not her first time with a dick in her mouth. How do you define amateur? She could be a professional blowjob-giver, using her hands, lips, mouth and cheeks to ensure the hardest cock and biggest pop. Goddamn, I love that eye contact, too!

The on-her-way scene functions as a hell of a teaser for the main event. The half-hour porta-potty flick begins with Rose stripping down again, this time in a tiny plastic box. There’s an overhead camera, and a picture-in-picture showing a wider side angle. I was wondering how they’d work the camera in such a tight spot, but this seems like an efficient compromise.

The first cock doesn’t show up until 5 minutes in. There’s another camera I didn’t notice that gets a nice, tight shot of Rose bobbing her head on that bad boy. She clearly didn’t run out of juice on the ride over, and she’s clearly thirsty for more of the sticky juice inside that shaft. Her hard work pays off, and she gets fed a few minutes later.

That’s just the warmup, of course, because there are other dudes waiting at the PortaGloryhole. Rose works her magic on each dude, showing off just what kind of talented slut she is.

PortaGloryhole.com seems to have all but abandoned their own site. That’s a fucking shame and will be a dealbreaker for a lot of perverts out there. Even without fresh content, though, their public gloryhole movies are a unique attraction that you’re just not going to find anywhere else. They’ve got hundreds of films, with downloading included, so I’d recommend signing up for a month and just saving all the movies you like.