Aloha Tube Handjob Review

Volume and freshness are the pitch. AlohaTube states it carries over twelve million videos and adds more every five minutes — its own figures, and the front page does turn over quickly enough to make the second claim plausible.

Structurally it's about as simple as a tube gets. Category pages, a top-rated ordering, and paging through results. No accounts, no playlists, no recommendation engine, no personalisation of any kind. The design hasn't materially changed in years and isn't trying to.

That plainness cuts both ways. There's nothing between you and the videos, which is genuinely refreshing. But there's also no tool for separating anything worth watching from the enormous volume of near-identical clips, and at twelve million items some curation would help.

Most of what's here is short — excerpts and re-uploads rather than full scenes, drawn from across the web rather than produced anywhere near this site.

It's the sort of site that's useful precisely because it asks nothing of you. Open a category, scroll, close the tab. Anything more considered than that and you'd want a site with better tools.